I was just out running with my wife in the bright morning sunshine. It had snowed the day before here in the Colorado mountains, and these huge sparkling flakes of snow caught our eye. The glittery reflection of the sun’s light was magical.

At this point in my journey, I’m slowing down - my goal to rev at 250 rpm rather than the familiar 500 rpm. Instead of cramming in a workout and strangling every drop I can from my exercise, my intention is to slow it a bit and connect more. To connect more to nature; to connect more to my partner; to connect more to me.

We stopped and marveled at these miracles of nature. Countless millions and millions of snowflakes that, woven together, create a magnificent soft white blanket extending as far as the eye can see. Each flake completely unique. Each with its own incredibly ornate crystalline structure. Constructed with precision. Each different from all the others. A touch of the divine.

Psychologist and author Rick Hanson calls it “taking in the good.” It’s taking a break from the rush and urgency of life to notice what’s there. Slowing down and moving at the pace of nature. Noticing who’s here. Letting it soak in.

Whether it’s seeking change from stuck patterns, healing from wounds that drive compulsive behavior, or recovering from addiction, savoring the world can help to reset dopamine levels back to baseline levels. Is it quick and easy? Hell no. It requires consistency and patience. It requires presence and awareness. It’s easy to forget.

One of the things that helps the most in remembering the disciplines needed to create new habits is community. To be surrounded by a group of like-minded people who desire something similar is a game-changer.

I recently heard Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps the Score,” describe the importance of community: “If you go to a physician or mental health practitioner who doesn’t understand trauma, they are going to try to fix you with drugs or cognitive behavioral treatment. It usually doesn’t work very well… what is very clear is that being in a relationship where people can hear you, where you can talk about what you feel, where you can start opening up… this is what’s actually quite helpful.”

I’m passionate about creating community. I find my deepest transformation to happen in the presence of others. Change can happen when we commit to it and are willing to work at it. But deep, lasting, fundamental transformation happens in relationship to others… in connection… in community.

Check out all these exciting community-building offerings at Living Color Healing, including a new online men’s community and a partnership with Coach Amy Briggs in offering support for partners and spouses of those struggling with addiction.

Healing from Sexual Compulsion

A transformational online community for men

Reconnecting to Wonder