Adoption Part I: My Message to Adoptees

Adoption is a beautiful and necessary part of our culture. Adoption places children who may not have a lot of hope for a healthy, opportunity-filled life in their current situation into the hands of adults who want to provide that rich and colorful life and for a number of reasons, want to offer that to a child who is not of their own flesh and blood.

In this series of blog articles, I will discuss my own personal experience with adoption as an adoptee and what I’ve learned from others in recovery from adoption-related wounds and also what I’ve learned from my training as a coach and healer.

As wonderful as adoption is, there is much that goes on behind the scenes in the lives of adoptees, adoptive parents, and involved siblings. Those personally involved in the adoption process often quietly struggle with feelings, thoughts, and attitudes that are confusing, difficult to understand, and maybe even subconscious. The ripple effect of this quiet struggle can affect the extended family and relationships with non-family members. In some cases, this quiet desperation causes major family conflict that sometimes involves outside agencies, counselors, and even and very unfortunately, family court.

I was adopted at the age of 6 weeks and raised by a loving pair of adoptive parents. I spent my first 6 weeks of life in a foster family or facility that I will likely never know about. I may never know who cared for me during this most critical time of my life. 13 years ago, at age 40, I met my biological family - my birth mother and father and 5 siblings. I have a lifetime of very personal experience with adoption and the quiet desperation that goes on in the secret recesses of the mind. In this series, I will share a very personal part of me with you in the hopes that understanding, healing, and reconciliation may come to you and those around you.

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