Love Addiction Quiz
Are worrisome patterns beginning to pop up in you and your relationships? How can you tell if your complicated romantic life is unhealthy? Take this 10-question quiz.
Our culture has helped to create the “perfect storm” in which what was once called “love addiction” is now becoming the norm. Just look at the prevalence of internet dating sites and apps - it’s now so easy just to swipe to someone new when the intensity of the previous relationship wears off. Also, in these times of modern romance, “re-partnering” after break-up, divorce, or death of a partner is so quick. There’s no time to be alone with the self.
Spend a few minutes with the following questions, and answer them honestly. As always, only you can tell if your relationship dynamics are a problem.
Do you fantasize about your “knight in shining armor” or “Cinderella,” thinking things would be fine if you just met the right person?
Are other areas of your life (job, friendships, or family relationships) falling apart because of your obsession with a romantic relationship?
When you first enter a room, do you quickly size it up in terms of who is most attractive, alluring, or desirable?
Are you afraid to be alone or do you avoid being alone, even for a few hours or a day?
Do you jump from relationship-to-relationship, chasing the rush of new intrigue?
Do you seek out risky, “forbidden,” or dangerous relationships because of the high they bring?
Do you constantly get “sucked back in” to a relationship you know is not right or is unhealthy for you?
Do the intensity, euphoria, and endorphins from a new romance keep you high for hours, days, or weeks?
When you are not in a relationship, does something just not feel right?
Once the excitement and high of a new relationship wear off, are you ready to move on?
If you answered “yes’ to 2 or more of these questions, you may be getting into unhealthy or problematic territory in terms of your relationships with others and with yourself. Remember, in healthy relationships, each partner has a strong sense of himself/herself/themself, and each partner values and esteems himself/herself/themself from within, not depending on the other to do that for him or her.
“I believe that the primary purpose of relationships is to allow two people to be connected to each other through intimacy, so that each gets support from the other to ease the burdens of life and to enhance the enjoyment of living.”
- Pia Mellody, Facing Love Addiction
Self-reflection: What patterns of behavior do you experience in relationships? Do you relate to the thinking and behavior in any of the above questions? If so, what is your motivation level to make any needed changes? If not, what can you do to make your already-great relationship even better?
—Brian Klink
If you’d like some help or a listening ear as you explore your relationship dynamics, please reach out. As a recovering love addict and codependent who has mourned the loss of a 30-year relationship and who is now in a beautiful second marriage, I have a lot of experience to draw on. No matter who or where you are, relationships are difficult at times. There is no shame or stigma in asking for help. I’d love to hear from you!