Lessons in Biology

Lately, I’ve been spending much of my time developing content for an online mental health and addiction recovery platform. As I prepare for video recording of the content, some critical parts of me are getting active: “It’s not going to be good enough.” “You don’t have anything to say.” There’s also a fear part that’s afraid I won’t be accepted: “What if no one likes it?” 

As I reflect on these parts that are really there to protect me from hurt, I realize it’s all about my biology as a human being. It’s about the way my infant nervous system tried to make sense of the violent shock to my world when I was adopted… abandoned by my mother. “You’re not good enough.” “You won’t be accepted.”

It’s all about the nervous system. It’s about basic biology. When viewed through this lens, there’s much less shame and stigma around my habits and hangups. It’s about how my system adapted to the stress of life as an infant without a mother… an infant without a home.

My drinking; my sexual compulsions; my attention-craving: all survival strategies. My incredible nervous system working overtime to adapt. To fit in. To survive.

If you’re dealing with depression or addiction or anxiety or any other mental health challenge, it’s not so much about your morality. Or your goodness or badness as a person. It’s not about your so-called failures. Or “shortcomings.” It’s about your biology as a human and how it adapted to the stressors in your life.

When we can reduce shame and stigma - the sense that we’re ‘bad’ - we’ve rounded the corner in our quest for wellness. We’ve crested the hill.

It’s not about me being ‘bad.’ It’s not about me being a f*&#-up. It’s about my human biology. When the shame of being bad fades away, my recovery and my healing shift into overdrive.

If you’d like some companionship on this journey, please reach out. I’d love to spend some time with you.