A River Runs Through It

As I was describing a struggle to my therapist a while ago, she challenged me with the question, “Brian, what’s the felt sense of that?” “Felt sense,” I wondered. “WTF is that??” My computer is even confused as I write this - it flags the words as in need of correction. But her question piqued my curiosity.

Since then, I’ve taken her up on the challenge to explore and touch into the felt sense. The interesting concept was coined by philosopher Eugene Gendlin - it seems he intended the term to describe  “meaningful bodily sensation.” In his book “Waking the Tiger,” noted somatic expert Peter Levine puts energetic personality to it: “... the felt sense is like a stream moving through an ever-changing landscape. It alters its character in resonance with its surroundings.”

As a man, I’ve been conditioned to use my analytical brain to solve problems and figure things out. Analyze, rationalize, and intellectualize. I’ve been told “don’t be so sensitive!” Maybe you can relate.

Yet things change when I tune into the felt sense. Answers come. My wife draws closer to me. Synchronicities surprise me. The world seems like a softer place.

How different will the world be when we, as men, make more contact with the felt sense? Not that it’s not important for those of all genders… But speaking as a man - a former fighter pilot - who used checklists and bravado to interface with the world - would it not be a welcome shift for us to at least explore the felt sense? To just ask ourselves the question? “What might my felt sense be like?”

I don’t know about you, but I think our world is desperate for something different. A new way of thinking… a new way of being. Could using our felt sense have something to do with it? Maybe Eugene was onto something…

Coming into contact with the felt sense is such a big part of the man I’m becoming. And it’s a big part of the work I do with other men.

I invite you to take your exploration of these and other ideas to the next level by joining a community of like-minded sojourners. 

By the way, the “Next Steps in Recovery” group, where we gently explore topics like this, is off to a great start and continues to welcome new members.